Jokes of the week

These little gems are from the Eau Claire Leader Telegram. Let’s not forget that in just two short days Eau Claire will be going smoke free. And like any good media outlet, the paper is working hard to promote the “good” that will come of it…

Some have tried to frame this issue as Big Brother trampling on the rights of business owners to operate their establishments as they see fit by allowing those who wish to smoke to do so.

It’s been a hard sell convincing this group that government “knows what’s best for them.”

Government knows best? I think I just threw up a little.

Years spent inhaling poison catch up with many smokers. It also stands to reason that if you repeatedly sit near smokers, you’re bound to be the recipient of some fraction of those same unhealthy chemicals.

Eh? No kidding. But let’s get real about it, shall we? You inhale plenty of hazardous chemicals every day, and yet smoking is targeted as the great evil. I’m still waiting for that ban on deep fryers…

Earlier this year, the Tobacco Free Partnership of Eau Claire County collected indoor air quality readings at eight local establishments that allow smoking. Based on federal standards, the air was hazardous at all locations.

Ok, this one takes the cake. I wasn’t aware that we had federal standards for secondhand smoke in place. So I decided to look up this presumably “objective” tidbit of data. It seems that they are basing their information in EPA and DNR air quality standards, somethat that has been severely scrutinized as of late for being excessive and alarmist. So in other words, the Tobacco Free Partnership of Eau Claire County couldn’t make a connection with chemicals so they went to particulate matter as defined by the DNR. Very tricky.

Specifically, smoking greatly increases your risk of cancer, heart disease and emphysema. That said, it is sound public policy to rid our air as much as possible of pollutants, including tobacco smoke.

Yes, clearly government knows best. If they weren’t here to save us little people from ourselves, what would we ever do??

For every smoking bowler upset he now has to step outside to light up, there may be a number of Scout and church groups that will consider going bowling because there is no longer smoke wafting through the alleys.

Oh, there’s some wishful thinking.

The same goes for some bars with live music that up until now were shunned by those not willing to trade a night of good entertainment for smelly clothes and hair.

Whoa! More wishful thinking!

There likely will be a downside for the bars that lose smoking customers to establishments outside the city limits. The answer to that problem is a statewide smoking ban, and the Legislature needs to move in that direction to level the playing field.

AH! There it is! I knew we couldn’t make it without that call for a level playing field. These people are nothing if not predictable. And just think, the author of this article is the newspaper’s editor (might I suggest emailing the gent and telling him what you think of his agenda pushing?). I think I’m going to be sick…